It's been a whole other while since the last post was relevant

So Alphonse and Bob and I moved back to the Big Apple (NYC for those not familiar with city/fruit nomenclature).

Alphonse and I have been living our exciting parenting lifestyles trying to make Bob into a successful human. What I've deduced is that there's not a great deal you actually have any real impact on as a parent, but you still feel awful if you don't do all the right things ninety-plus percent of the time.

Right now the "right thing" for our 3 yr old, is potty training, and I should apologize, because from here on out it seems as if this may become a daddy blog.

Ugh.

Anyway, potty training makes me think we're focusing on the wrong problem, and that really we should be inventing high-tech diapers we can wear into our adult years. What's so fantastic about needing to find a bathroom all the time, anyway? I had a tense argument the other day with Bob about whether she was going to crap in the toilet or the potty. She won, because they're her bowels, and I ended up writing this text to my wife:

"Bob pooped. But she flatly refused to do so in the toilet, so when you get home and are trying to decipher my inscrutable expression, it's the face of a man who has to give his daughter a prize for making him scrub shit out of a plastic tub."

#kidsaredelightful

What the what?!? Is this thing on again?

I've decided that I need an outlet for talking about life and junk again, so here it is. Apologies in advance as I work out my voice again.

Since the last post a lot has happened. I got married to the delightful Alphonse, finished up an MBA, and with a majority of help from my good lady wife, participated in the creation of a tiny baby daughter. In the spirit of the blog thus far, my wee daughter will be provided an alias.

We will call her Bob, because it's easy to remember and is the name I told her has been adopted by all the world's sparrows, even the females because sparrows are invariably cool and consequently the women, who are actually named Roberta, all go by either Bobbie or Bob. Fatherhood, which in the early days involves killing a lot of time, generates bunches of weird conversations/monologues; And kids are fantastic because they believe most of what you tell them.