Oh Holy Christ on a Cricket!

I've seen the face of evil, and it's a cave cricket.
That ugly bastard up there lives in my apartment. They're relatively harmless except that every time you see one on your way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, a tiny portion of your soul shrivels up in horror.

They don't chirp. They don't (thank God!) bite. And in fact, they don't seem to do much at all. They do move like lightning when you go to squish them though. Fair enough, I guess. I'd move too if I were being squished.

However, they look like a cross between a cricket and a hairy spider - which, in case you're interested, is actually the recipe for unadulterated evil. They look just wrong and I hate them.

Apparently you can get rid of them with caulking and maybe an exorcism.