The Olympics

If this Olympic elk were to take a poo, I'd give it a medal for Canada and choose to watch it over Michael Phelps.
This pic found here

I've been watching 'em. Here's my take.

I'm tired of Michael Phelps. He seems like a nice enough guy, but every time he ventures close to something wetter than a damp dishtowel, coverage jumps to him. Sometimes I want to watch gymnastics because, you know, it's interesting - unlike swimming.

Also, while it's cool he's winning like a million billion medals and all, you can only do that in a couple of sports. And those sports are swimming.

Even if you're a talented runner, you only get to run each distance in one direction. If it was like swimming there'd be a different medal for people who ran it backwards, sideways, and bow-legged. Phelps is a sick athlete, but I'd watch the Brazilian volleyball team any day of the week over him bringing another medal home for the U.S. of A.

Softball should be banned. I just don't like the sport. I've never seen players of an Olympic sport look so out of shape. I just watched about 30 seconds of a game and one of our players looks like Babe Ruth. It reminds me of English soccer players before the rest of the world realized that not eating fish and chips or smoking might give you an edge.

Is baseball an Olympic sport? I hope not, and let's keep cricket out of it while we're at it.

And actually, to follow up on the point made above about swimming, I don't only want to watch U.S. medal sports. I know that's an old critique, but if it's a choice between watching paint dry for an American gold and say, Judo (which is part of one of the most rapidly growing sports in the U.S.) then give me China vs. Iran in Judo any day. I didn't shell out all that cash for an HDTV to watch curling or darts. Sheesh.